what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize