I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
