He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
