Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
