You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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