I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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