There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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