every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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