you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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