I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I smell like Dick and happiness
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
