somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
