Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As shirtless as possible
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
