I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize