Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So squirting runs in the family.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
