If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You have to summon your inner elephant
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
