i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
