People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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