Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
