I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
