don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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