apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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