Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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