Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
