So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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