also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
