You were right. It hurts to walk today.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
