it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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