And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize