just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
