i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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