That's intense
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
