i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
