I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
