he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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