the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
