Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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