I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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