How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
