Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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