This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
