Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
