She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
