You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
