Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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