when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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