Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
