my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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