I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize