I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
