the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize