question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
