One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
