You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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