I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
