i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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