i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
