i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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