I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
