Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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