I didn't shave. On purpose
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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