Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
